Escapade!
An interactive fiction by Juhana Leinonen (2008) - the Inform 7 source text
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To say insult wimpiness:
if the creature is present, say "[line break][one of][c]I knew a girl like you once,[c] [the creature] remarks. 'She was five and she liked ponies. I bet [italic type]you[roman type] like ponies too, don't you.'[or][c]Cry me a river, baby. Cry me a river,[c] [the creature] quips.[or][c]Oh boo hoo', [the creature] says and in exaggerated motions pretends to rub its eyes with fists.[at random]"
To say your mom joke:
if the creature is present, say "[line break][one of][c]I hear your mom is so fat she has three thinner women in orbit around her,[c] [the creature] quips.[paragraph break]'[Hey! Don't talk like that about my mom]!' you yell at it.[or][c]Your mom is so ugly they moved Halloween to her birthday,[c] [the creature] says.[paragraph break]'[That's just so not cool]!' you cry.[or][c]Your mom is so poor her picture is on the food stamp,[c] [the creature] says.[paragraph break]'[Shut up you whatever you are],' you snap at the thing.[or][c]Your mom is so clumsy, when she falls down she misses the ground,' [the creature] says.[paragraph break]'[Why are you being so mean],' you cry.[or][c]Your mom is so...' [the creature] says and pauses for a moment. '...damnit. I've run dry.'[stopping]";
To say Shut up you whatever you are:
if the tongue is numb:
say "Ah ah, uh... ae-eh uh ah";
otherwise:
say "Shut up, you... whatever you are".
To say Hey! Don't talk like that about my mom:
if the tongue is numb:
say "Eyh! Ooh aah i ah aouh i ah";
otherwise:
say "Hey! Don't talk like that about my mom".
To say That's just so not cool:
if the tongue is numb:
say "Hah uh oh oh uuh";
otherwise:
say "That's just so not cool".
To say Why are you being so mean:
if the tongue is numb:
say "Whuh ah uh beih oh meah";
otherwise:
say "Why are you being so mean".
To say question intelligence:
say "[c][one of]You're not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you[or]You're not the brightest lamp of the Christmas lights, are you[or]There's no mayo in your sandwich, is there[or]The lamp's on, but nobody's in the lighthouse, is there[or]The elevator doesn't go all the way up, does it[or]There's no battery in your remote, is there[at random]?'[run paragraph on]".
To say point out self-evidency:
say "[one of][c]Hold the Nobel nominations,[c] [the creature] says sarcastically.[or][silent c]The creature sighs.[or][The creature] claps its hands slowly in large motions. [c]Bravo. You've made the discovery of the century.[c][or][c]Did you come to that conclusion all by yourself? Congratulations,[c] [the creature] mocks you.[or][The creature] pretends to push the buttons of an invisible calculator. [c]According to my calculations you have the IQ of [an unintelligent object].[c][at random]".
To say an unintelligent object:
say "[one of]a turnip[or]a pouchful of pistachios[or]a slightly rusted hammer[or]a roadkill[or]a moderately smart rock[or]an empty box of crayons[at random]".
To say bowdler:
say "[one of]duck[or]fub[or]muck[or]shuck[or]ruck[or]rudd[or]tuck[or]truck[or]grue[or]funk[or]thud[at random]";
To say bowdlering:
say "[one of]ducking[or]fubbing[or]mucking[or]shucking[or]rucking[or]rudding[or]tucking[or]funking[or]thudding[at random]";